Saturday, July 28

Moth to a flame

I’m not flirting with danger
I’m the danger you are flirting with.
I’m not pulling you down
you are chasing my sinking ship
I’m not the light,
I’m the burning pyre
I’m not burning,
I’m the fire
And you are drawn to me
Like a moth to a flame,
But i’m love, forbidden.
The fire with no name.

Wednesday, July 18


I've been tagged by deepika. The rules are simple,
1. open a can of beer, take a sip and write eight random things each after a sip.
2. if you finish your beer before you finish writing #4, you should get one more and proceed..
3. if not, you should take larger sips to finish before you proceed.
4. if you don't drink, don't worry and don't start. These are not the rules.

Random revelations

1. I am a fussy sleeper. More often than not i'm the last one to sleep, but i can't ever sleep after sunrise. I can't sleep without covering my eyes, and i can't sleep even if there's half a noise somewhere. And I hate lying in bed, with no sleep and millions of useless ideas running through my head. Sometimes i wish we had a shut-down command for the head. Switch off till needed next.

2. Given the choice between a goodlooking woman and one who can play chess really well, i'd be confused. But who gives me that choice anyways?

3. I love the smell of coffee and i love my coffee with lots of milk.

4. I hate lizards, but i feel for them. I think animal right activists have given them a raw deal. I wonder how they feel or how i'd feel if i were them and hated by someone like me, for no reason, just for the way they are.

5. I think everyone should fall in love once. It's a beautiful magnifying glass. The more you look at yourself through it, the more you discover yourself. But we're too busy being happy when we are in love to care about it, and too lost when it's over.

6. I hate people who love to debate. I think it takes two fools to start one.

7.Movies, the other way. If you have ever sneaked vodka into a multiplex, you'll know exactly what I mean here. Movies are never the same. The worse are not as bad, the good ones get better. If you buy me vodka and movie tickets, i'll teach you how.

8. When i was 15, i had been to a neurlogist.(i want this information on my godsmacked resume!!) I hated the neuro for calling me normal, but the other patients i saw, made me realise how priviliged we, me and you, are. We have the gift to choose our degree of madness and enjoy it. Not all people do, for a fault not entirely their own. Feel fortunate.

return to madness,

Sunday, July 15

The umbrella apologies.

are we the same people with different words
or different people with the same words.
neither or none.
just there for each other,
like monsoon clouds that drip as they run.
i wish my umbrella could thank you,
for some shelter from the sun.

Wednesday, July 11

the point is

These are some strange days. Almost bizarre. The first three days of the week have sped past without a trace. Too many things happening, all too distinct, all too consuming, all left undone. I wonder if there will be a more apt time to put in words, the myriad experiences in life. This week has pretty much covered the middle spectrum.
It's strange, how all of a sudden life swings you around and brings you back at the same place, only with a larger kitty of self discovery. As far as swings go, this one has been wild.
A month into a so-called vacation, i have gone from discovering newer dimensions of ennui, to, in a matter of three days, discovering that my tank is running out of gas to fund my ride. This week sets the tone for the coming four months, when i take the plunge into mainstream with an exam that strangely puns with cat. Another, lost to the management drain. Life has certainly never been fuller. Like a pregnant mother, glowing. Except, i have no clue what it's going to deliver. And i don't even have nine months. Copywriting is turning out to be very handy money, except, the agency is sinking and i am one of the plugs. Freelancing is a funny way of life. If it meant more money, i'd do it forever. Theatre. Yes. I've always wondered who these set of people were that you bump into at Prithvi or NCPA experimental at every show.The same set, at most plays. Theatre people, playing and paying to watch each other, divided by the stage. I'll do a post on this species soon, but come Sunday i'll be on the other side. Just to check in. Or perhaps check out. So thats two 'growing up phase' passions tasted and tested. Copywriting and theatre. None of which are remarkably well paying. My parents would pin it down as the indulgence of the wealthy or the wierd. The former doesn't hold true for me, the latter, they refuse to acknowledge. Oh, and they seldom lose a chance to remind me that i'm also supposed to be a computer engineer, and normal people my age with my degree actually have a real job with software giants. How abysmally normal are these people anyways.
But thankfully life is more colourful than my critique on the mainstream. And i shouldn't even be doing it, if i am headed down that road in four months.
Stranger things are occuring in stranger ways. I am doing things i've never done before. Not since inception of intelligence. The thing about the human heart is that it's forever in conflict with our head. Forever. I think it just pumps the wrong blood with the wrong chemicals into the brain, everytime the two disagree. So your head is buzzing, and your blood is rushing, but the heart wont relent until it has its way. Only, you can never be sure if it's right or wrong. If it's a good thing or a bad thing. If you are your heart or your head. Or somewhere in between.
This post isn't meant to have a bottomline. It's a locus that touches many points, but is largely pointless.
But these are days i need to wrap in words and trap in posts. So be it.

Monday, July 2

Afterlove burps.

yes i love you
i think you always knew.
by the time we both grew
our worlds were too different
and our words too few.

But love steps up an intellectual gear
as my heart recovers from your sweet sear
and the only women i now want near
are the ones willing to buy me some beer.