Wednesday, January 30

First Birthday

It has gone. The gift. But today feels a bit special nevertheless.
Today is Alternate Perception's first birthday and the blog is indeed a little mad at me. It feels neglected. It is screaming out for a post and i have had precious little to offer. Today, we'll talk. Just me and the blog, and you.

'Have you nothing to say?' my blog asks me these days.. and then it stops asking any further. It lends me it's silence. Silence. The most searching of all questions. Asking nothing, yet asking all. I'm devising a grand scheme to break this silence and replace it with mine. The one that lets me think. My mind hasn't been calm when i have had a chance to blog and when it has been, the chance wouldn't occur to me. A suspended conversation it has been, between the blog and me. An interruption to end soon. Anyway, the blog is expanding and i hope the coming year is brighter in terms of posts. More interesting, more intriguing ones. We'll ask the right questions and find no answers. Maybe we'll find the answers, but we'll celebrate in any case.
Today we're broke. It's month end. Maybe, month's fag fag end. Two bloggers for the lack of time and options will celebrate at a nondescript park bench in Shivaji Park. With Jagannath (who merits his own post) and his immaculate 45ml of masala chai. Maybe we'll buy a few balloons, blow a few candles, or maybe none of the above. Just wonder where we'd have been without the blog. Nostalgia is occuring most naturally to me, so i won't resist it. I'll get back to work with the hope of writing a lot more a lot sooner. To everyone who has swung by, everyone i've known here.. thanks for making it worth the ride, last year was wonderful with you guys. For the many more to come, keep the words flowing.

I promise i will. Cheers

Monday, January 14

2007

There are posts that talk of tomorrow, posts that talk of yesterday. And some that talk of today. I havent been talking at all. To you. And myself. Right now i have three things to write for pay and one thing that has something to say. The tragic truth is that they are all driven by a brief. Like most of what i have written in two months. Now i don't feel like writing them anymore.

I'll write for myself. I have spent a lot of time waiting for a time to write. The way i like to read myself. The way i like to write. Age dawns the realization that such a time will get progressively rare and i can't spend time looking for time. I'll have to create time, create space and find myself through my words again. The way i did last year. This is about 2007. The year that changed my life. And how.

Can i just say i'm smiling right now. Mildly, content. A flavour that retrospection tastes best in. I'm glad it's occuring to me now just as it will everytime i look back at last year. It started with the blog and ended with a blogger. I still don't believe it. Turning twenty two, graduation, advertising, drifting, drinking, rocking, rolling, breaking away from the comfort of routine that structured the last four years of my life and then it happens. Unexpected, beyond expectations.
I kept thinking that my surreal script would reconcile itself with reality sometime. It shows no signs of any recession. In madness or love.

Life has changed completely. Every decision making paradigm now involves thought for two. It's new to me, but it's something i'm getting used to. Can't be reckless anymore. Wonder if i'll miss it. Anonymity is slowly trickling out of this blog. Drop by drop each day. So, this blog is changing. It used to be my secret study room where i'd sit back to reflect. Threadbare and naked. Where i'd drown my noise to hear my voice. Yes, last year gave me Alternate Perception too. And windows into a lot of lives that will grow and pass by my eyes as i pass theirs. Riding on words, the parallel lives we all lead, separated by degrees. Different, but not dissimiliar. Highs, and lows, joys and sorrows. We all have them so different, yet they're same in the way they make us feel. Oblique as an illusion. Parallel, really. Sometimes these parallel lines merge. Sometimes. And then we feel together. What we felt all along but alone. The good and the bad. It stops being 'yours only' as you move from a half-life to a more complete one. One you never knew existed. Now you do.

That's what i'll carry forward into the new year and the ones to follow from the very special 2007 among other things. Age, wisdom, a blog and a girlfriend. All for life. And the word that started it all. Maybe.

Thursday, January 10

Post

Oh, this blogger runs late. By now, infamously.

Posts are due and will come pretty soon. The hibernation is unintended and the wall of silence between the blog and me must break. Damn, i'm selling too many flats writing brochures these days. Writing for pay more than writing to say. The first post this new year is particularly lame, so readers, friends and fellow hoppers, i'm all apologies again.

Will post at my earliest, a couple of posts that i have been wanting to write for a long time. a routine one on the bygone year. Retrospection delayed. One on the special one (yes yes another one). And a string of special posts to bring in our first blog birthday. Maybe, a blogger party by the end of it which as of now will have atleast two people celebrating. Or atleast the one who writes it.

Wishing you loads of love and madness, let this year bring lots of posts. And otherwise, although late, the year still is new.. Happy New Year, lets hope that this one will be better!

Thursday, January 3

a million plans i'd made for life
a million more to go
wonder why they never work out
am i living too fast
or am i planning too slow?